hmm...

Days are growing colder and shorter up here in my parts of the world. The colors of fall are still a fantabulous cacophony of red, orange, brown, yellow and green. It amazes me every year - the pure vitality and beauty of Nature's changing seasons. Still, parts of me are sad. I'm facing months of dreary gray-brownish wet and cold days.


Down here so close to the coast, we don't get a proper snow-winter, oh, we do get snow and some winters we get a lot of snow...like the winter a few years ago when my longing for spring and warmth was so strong I attacked the last mound of snow made by the snow truck and spread it out so it would melt faster just so I could pretend it was all gone XP.


Mostly it's rain, sleet, snow that lasts a few days before turning into ice, temps varying from just above freezing to way below freezing and more ice. Even the short five minutes walk to the grocery store turns into an ...adventure.


Today's Thursday.... 3rd day of little sleep, my mind is misty, my concentration is a butterfly that skitters in and out of focus and my work ethic is non-existent. I have things to do that takes no consideration of this, I need to somehow magically create an extra car tomorrow to take my son to the hospital to get his arm checked and cast removed. I have do finish the accounts for the karate club...finish pfft who am I kidding, I have to do it all over from scratch - da joy of computer crashes...


I desperately need to catch a couple of hours more sleep - I'd be able to now, I know, but I'm scared to do so because I'm afraid I'll end up in a comatose sleep and wake up realizing that half the day has gone by, and I'm too fuzzy-brained to be able to do much book keeping. *grumbles*


I've got one thing, though, my stubbornness - hail to the good ol' Oftenes stubbornness - it must be something in my genes...probably the same thing that made long gone ancestors defy reason, geography and climate and settle up here ...bound to be ...of course some might call it madness...


I mean, who in their right mind would settle here and start farming in a country that for the most part is so poorly suited for it?!? The endless rows of painfully stacked stone fences that criss cross this country is evidence of the hardship it took to clear fields for plowing...it must have taken countless generations...according to my dad, there is an old saying up here - 'it is every generation's responsibility and duty to leave the land a little better off than what it was when they took over'


...it's my responsibility and duty to stay focused and get enough done today and take care of all those mindless things a mom does each day...I'd have been a pissy bitch if I'd had the energy to spare...but it's pretty meaningless. It doesn't help me get things done and because when it comes down to it...who's been stalling things ...aye *points to self* 'moi'!