Saturday, January 8, 2011

Oh, bugger it all!

One week of sore, achy joints and muscles wreaks havoc with my brains.  I have trouble falling asleep and when I do, I only sleep for 2-3 hours before waking up again.  I do get back to sleep, but I don’t get proper sleep this way and I can only do this for a little while before my brains play tricks on me. I can cope with the stiffness and the pain and I can cope with sleep deprivation to a certain extent, but both of them combined – epic fail!

I get impatient and cranky and I hate that.  I try really hard not to get pissy, but after a while things will leak out.  That is bad enough in and of itself, but it’s when I try to fix my errs, things turn truly ridiculous.  I let my fear of fucking up get the best of me and I start fixing things that don’t need fixing, or I start apologizing to the east and the west and make a complete arse of myself. 

My brain scan appointment is in two weeks. I am absolutely terrified. Actually this might well be the reason for my achiness. Each time I think about it I tense up.  I am terrified of the scan itself – being locked up inside a machine for 30 min – but I have to admit, I’m afraid of the results too. ME, MS, Lupus or nothing at all, I'm not sure which sux worst...

Hubby’s flu seems to be over the worst thankfully. My son is still under the weather a bit, but his fever isn’t too high. He’s young and strong, so the flu normally doesn’t affect him all that much.

Eitherwho Hubby is taking me up to the cabin. It's time to let the world have a Cara-free break. He’ll be playing with his tractors and I will be knitting and listening to The Way of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson. This was a nice little surprise. I haven't read anything by Sanderson and didn't have my expectations up, but so far I'm enjoying it. It is fantasy, but it has elements of Sci-Fi in it and I like that.  


  1. Oooo...I want to come read a book in your cabin!!


    Sorry about everything else! :(

    My thoughts are with you...especially with your upcoming scan!