Now what?

Well, exams are done and passed. Now what? Monday I’m having a meeting with the social sec. office to make some plans for the future. I’m hoping I can get some classes at the local high school – English and social studies/philosophy.
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.(I hate that blogger won’t do paragraphs – at least I can’t get it to do it <_<)
I’ll also use the summer to contact some of the translation firms to see what my chances are for freelance translating. I can do that from home and put in some work hours even if my health is wrecked.
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It’s such a drag to have fibro/arthritis issues. They are making my life miserable, stealing my sleep, my energy and it’s not like you can put forth a cast or stitches to show people where it hurts. I think what bugs me the most is that since I was a kid I’ve worked hard and didn’t mind. Physical labor never bothered me. Since I was 13 I’ve had a paid job beside school/studies. After becoming a mom at 21 I continued my studies, had several part time jobs and took care of kids, house, and spouse. Some days didn’t have enough hours – especially those where assignments had to be done during nights, because that was the only time I wasn’t busy and hubby and kids were asleep. I still managed to cope, I worked out and practiced karate to make my body stronger and better able to handle the pressure of everyday life, beside I was taught that life is hard work and as long as you work hard, you’ll be rewarded. Yeah, I was rewarded alright…
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I guess the aching and soreness is something that I got used to, I thought that I was just sore from workout and that it would pass or it was something that I could ignore. Then other signs came along. My body was nearing it’s limit. I was anemic, even treatment with iron shots that made my buttocks swell up and turn an ugly color didn’t help. I was given prescription vitamins this and that – no use. I was ordered to go on the pill to lessen the bleeding, then the coil. After years of trying and failing, it was then decided I do a surgical procedure that I was assured was a) not painful b) not long c) only local anesthetics was needed.
Let me tell you the pain was beyond description as the anesthetics didn’t work and it lasted not 10-15 min as promised but a full hour because the doctors hadn’t really done it before, and what was only supposed to temporarily lessen or stop my bleeding turned out to leave me permanently scorched and barren - I still wake up in panic after having nightmares being tortured.
Either way, this turned out to be the last drop that tipped my body over the edge. I started having trouble with pneumonia. I didn’t get rid of it, antibiotics didn’t help. A new round of tests, x-rays, even a mini cam down in the lungs. I was told that my lungs, rib-case and lymph system were full of scar tissue and that I had chronic inflammation in my lungs, but with cortisone inhaler meds I’d be alright - which is true, so even though it sounds a bit scary, it’s nothing that bothers me, really.
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I just wish there were meds for the aching and inflammation in my muscles and joints, but there aren’t. Or I’m told that it’s something I have to learn to live with and painkillers are a no-no, of course.
So what bugs me is that here I’ve done what I was raised to do and believed was the right thing to do – work hard and push yourself to keep going and don’t depend on others to do your work, and then I end up with a body that just fails to comply Y_Y Frustrating and annoying don’t seem to adequately describe how I feel.
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One good thing, though. Summer is here and the warm temps do wonders for sore and achy bones XD