Friday, June 12, 2009

sleepless again

Being used

I was reserved at first, like so many are.

I might get hurt, so why bother,

reaching out or try feeling up to par?

***

My inner voice was loudly warning me.

Beware, do not get too involved,

not all those out there are nice, you see?

***

Some situations I really just avoid

The ones, you know,

that are too weird, too scary or get you annoyed?

***

In the end a few got through my walls.

I opened up, even cared,

can you believe I actually had the balls?

***

You may see me as open and kind.

Maybe a bit naive,

or perhaps you just think I’m blind?

***

When I accept and let someone inside

I don’t suddenly leave,

or did you actually think I’d run and hide?

***

When I call you a friend, there is no pretend.

No stabbing of backs,

Don’t you know, I’m a friend to the end?

***

I actually believed, it’s simply that plain.

I silenced my doubts,

but wasn’t I really just being used again?

***

I’m not regretting the time you stole,

I have integrity and grace

I just won’t help you out of your self-made hole.

May God have mercy on your soul.

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