Friday, January 14, 2011


I am back to sleeping properly again, at least properly for me. Some of the soreness and stiffness has lessened, which again has lessened the aching. I am fighting the cold waaay much better too.

I've gotten things done and checked up on some things that others should have done, that didn't happen. (Thanks to Darcia's blog, because after reading about how her work had messed up with her pay, I decided to check on my bank as I hadn't heard from them, nor received any insurance forms in my mail) They had no idea why I hadn't gotten any forms and I ended up having to give all the info once more and got a new receipt that my case had been reported - but now with a phone number I could call in case nothing came within a week. My bank lady hadn't done diddley with the refinancing of our mortgage. The letter stating the cancellation of all loan bonds on the part of my mountain property that had loan bonds and that had to be left out, well, she'd gotten it, but not read it, or done anything whatsoever... She promised to check our terms, etc and call me back as soon as she could. Time will show.

I have found and given hubby the tax papers for 2011 to give to his employer and the bills for our internet and his cellphone as his work pays this. We have to pay the invoice, then hand it over to his job, who then pays him back. As it was for 3 months it means approximately 5,000 NOK( 850$) and that is quite a lot of money for us at least. 

I have even called and gotten an appointment with my doctor. Whenever you have an X-ray or a specialist appointment up here, you need to make an appointment with your regular doctor in order to find out the results, because they refuse to tell you anything directly, but instead send reports to your regular doc instead.

I re-checked my MRI appointment and found out that the time of my app is at 7:15 pm. Does that strike anybody else as a very odd time for an appointment? (Yes, I know I should have seen this when I got the letter of app., but I haven't been able to read it - as in registering what it actually says - until now). My brain goes Emu on me and hides all info it thinks will freak me out...

 After reading Countess' blog the other day, I did some thinking. Why do I blog? What blogs do I read? Which blogs do I comment and which don't I comment on and why?

I don't read random blogs unless I am bored out of my mind, and quite frankly, that doesn't happen often. I have not the time, nor the energy to get bored often. I read blogs that belong to people I know and interact with on forums, etc. and I read them because I care and because they show me how you all are doing. 

I started blogging over at Myspace around the time when my long term sick leaves started. I have never kept any diaries or journals, instead I used to draw out my emotions and worries. I drew at night. I never really had enough time to write or draw, but if things got too tough and I was unable to sleep, I'd draw or pencil something down on a sheet of paper until I got it out of my system.  I've gotten quite a collection up through the years. I should really get them scanned onto my computer. I have never really been good with words, or at least that's what I've been told and what I have believed myself. I used to get bad grades in writing, because I stank toefarts at punctuation. I would get excellent in contents, but fail in grammar and punctuation. It always amazed my teachers why I was able to do much better in English than in Norwegian. I have never gotten to know why that is so, but it is..

While I was home sick, I suddenly had time on my hands and that was such an unfamiliar experience, I didn't quite know what to do with myself. As I had started to go online and having had to learn how to express myself solely with words, I decided it was perhaps an idea to write down some of the craziness that was inside my head. Within a short time, it became like therapy to me. For years nobody read anything of what I blogged. I just needed an outlet to avoid going completely nuts with all the stuff that was going on my life.

Not until after I had read your blogs for a good while, did I dare to get this blog and not until relatively recently did I dare start commenting on yours. There are several reasons for this, of course and I'm not sure I want to go into all of them, but I figure I have to explain some of them. The internets have always been very ambiguous to me. Most of you are way younger than me, for one. While I have long experience in dealing with kids and young adults in RL, as a family member, teacher and karate instructor, it's still been a long learning process how to act and respond to this online. I still struggle with understanding the hows and the whats and the ifs, etc. of the internet lingua.

Now for my comment-anxiety. I joined a forum with a relatively young clientèle some years back in order to help my daughter with her writing and her English. I ended up being a sort of second mother to most of them and it bugged the hell outta me. I didn't have the heart to ignore those confused lonely souls and ended up almost buckling under. they were normal young kids and teenagers and I did and do care for them, but hells bells. It took me a long time to get myself out of that mess. The other side, was all the insane crazies out there, the predators. -shivers- ye gods!

I have always been aware of my age and always been very careful in contact with younger online friends, because I know all too well how many weirdos there are. I am used to being viewed as what Burk so eloquently put it once, the "Old Crazy-lady of the internets". Which is how it should be, considering. I have had my dealings with older women in the worst of their menopause, and believe me, there are nothing scarier out there! They far outcreeps the predators, I mean, at least you know where you are with a predator, but there is no way to predict a menopausal hippo full of raging hormones. Whichever way you lose with them, just do. I haven't yet reached that stage. I have no idea if I will be able to tell when I do, nor do I know when as I can't count on irregular periods letting me know it's happening as others can. My worst fear is to come across as one of those. And when I am sleep depraved and half zombie from pain and lack of sleep those fears become even worse. I have all sorts of doubts and as I've mentioned in earlier blogs, I never screw up as badly as when I'm trying to fix my imagined or real errors. Oy vey! these phobias stop existing when I get to know the person(s) I'm interacting with, but until I know you all well enough to stop worrying about those things, I'm afraid I'll bugg the hell outta you guys and for that I apologize.

ugh - marathon blog... Oh well, I will now go pack and get ready for the weekend. Hubby and I are heading up to the cabin. The temps aren't too far below zero, so the pipes shouldn't be frozen. If they are, they should thaw up during the first night, which should make for a fantabulous weekend. ^__^ Cross fingers!

Hope you guys have a fantabulous weekend too.


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