I've been down in the dump this week. Inflammation and fever drains me like nothing else. It wasn't unexpected as things have been crazy and busy, but in a good way and absolutely worth it. We gathered the whole gang - both sides - Saturday for an outdoor day of funness. The weather gods were on our side and people were happy. Georg, Olga and Vera were playing on the field and we all took joy in watching them, until Olga found the mudhole and Georg - being a show-off kind of guy - impressed the 4-legged ladies by morphing into a mud monster. Us 2-legged ladies weren't all that impressed, as we don't really consider mud as a good alternative for salad dressing. When I had to drag him down to the lake to rinse him off, he ALMOST looked like he regretted the stunt. There he impressed me with his almost-swimming and we became best friends again and were both happy walking back home.
I wish I had some photos and videos to show you, but I'm afraid I've misplaced the camera...again...I know. It's suspicious. Could it be the house imp being at large and having his mischievous fun again? Could it be the hubby fearing he'll be caught on camera with a bad hair do? Or, could it be just me being my usual skitterbrained self? Mysteries!
Anyways, as I've been so out of spoons (explanation link ) that I've been more or less unable to communicate with the outside world, I've been reading blogs instead. It's a kind of communication, right?!? I love checking my blog list when I get up at 6 am too tired to think
and too stiff and achy to do much of anything else, other than try staying
This morning I read The Bloggess and her story about Amelia. It got me thinking. Did I have a heroine who inspired me to do the things I didn't think I could, or didn't think I dared? I was an anxious child. I never slept over at friends until I was 10 or older and there were only two girls I trusted to sleep over at our house, although I much preferred that. My mother being a ..character, that was a big risk, believe me. I was used to being alone as we were up at the mountain farm a lot and was happy in my own private company.
I remember I was so anxious when I was to start school I got sick. So sick the doctors wanted to have me put in hospital due to dehydration. That thought scared me so much that I forced myself to keep down fluid and drag myself to school. Most children had their mothers follow them and stay with them the first week of school, but my mother didn't believe in that sort of 'babying big girls' and neither did she have the time as she was busy with my new born sister. To muster enough courage to get out of bed and walk to school I thought of my little heroine, Little My. She was very small, but fiercely determined and did stuff even if she was afraid. I wanted so badly to be like her, I managed to overcome a lot of my anxiety and fears.
Being a child, it didn't really matter that she was a fictional character in a book. She was what I needed. She was an inspiration and when I think about it, she has remained an inspiration even after I became a grown up. I still find I'm telling myself that it is alright to be scared as long as you keep on going, as long as you don't give up trying. I had simply forgotten where those words came from.
Now I know and I will remember. Also I am so grateful to my parents for reading me stories about Little My and Phoo when I was a frightened little girl at 3 and to my dad in particular, because he had the patience to re-read them again and again until I learned to read on my own.
Do you have a personal hero or someone who's been an inspiration to you and helped you reach goals? I hope you do. I think it's a pretty useful thing to have.
...and because I've sort of promised myself not to make this a whiny blog and to not end my posts on a sad note
Another blog I read, mainly because she cracks me up and is my kind of crazy, is Jenny from the Blog I love this woman! She's so funny. Who'd have known Isabella Rosselini did animal porn?!? I've always admired her as an actress, now she's on my list of heros and she's there to stay!