I finally got around to getting a doctor's appointment. I've postponed it for months, which is stupid, I know. I just couldn't face any more bad news, so I ignored the signs and pretended I was fine. Mind over matter and all that jazz. It works, you know. For a time... Until the 'bumps' on the joints of my hands and fingers got too big to hide.
It's official, I've got rheumatoid arthritis. FucketyFuckFuckFuck!
Some mild deformities only, but I need to start treatment so I don't end up a helpless cripple. I'm going to see some specialist who'll test and check and then shoot some kind of remedy directly into the infected joints to reduce further deformity. Or so I was told by my doc. I have no idea which specialist I'll see, nor when I'll see them, but I hope it'll be soon.
I googled RA. Biggest mistake I could make. Seriously. That stuff is both nasty and scary as heck! Not going to look up, or read anything about RA again anytime soon, that's fer sure!
I've sort of known I had some sort of rheumatism, but I always assumed it involved stiff, sore and aching fingers/hands++ and that would be it until I reached old age. I mean real old age, like 75 and upward old age, by which time I reckoned I would be semi okay with deformed extremities. Talk about deluded! *facepalms self*
...I think chronic pain eats braincells.
If you've lived with strong pain for a longer period of time, Do.Not.Trust.Yourself. I've become master of ignoring physical pain. Your body becomes accustomed to pain after a while and it becomes almost easy to ignore it. Besides, with a diagnosis like Fibromyalgia, you're TOLD TO ignore it by doctors and every know-it-all out there. I most certainly was. And I for one, don't want to be accused of being a whiner. You know, those who constantly complain and go on at length about it to everyone who wants to listen and particularly those who don't. Or those who moans and groans loudly and overact their pain as if they're life depended on it. Like my mom does *shudders*
So, my advice to anyone who lives with chronic pain, is to ignore the pain only to a certain extent. Don't go full out numb. Pain is meant to tell us something isn't right. You should go see a doctor several times too many, rather than one time too few. It might even save your life. Just sayin'
On the upside, the doc gave me a new type of anti inflammatory meds that will not give me ulcers. Huzzah! That means I will actually be able to take it more regularly and hopefully be looking forward to a less painful future. She also gave me a type of sleeping med with melatonin as acting ingredient.
Less pain and more sleep, hells bells, I'll be ready to take over the entire universe...