Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Bad hair day
You know you've had them. We've all had them. My problem, though, isn't so much having a bad hair day, but my lack of it. I was at the hair dresser the other day. Got rid of the worn and torn ends, got it high lightened - I'm a natural blond, so my hair doesn't turn gray, but white - she does her magic and voila, my natural white old-lady-looking hair appears like the highlighted areas, while the hair she actually highlights, appears like natural blond young-lady-looking hair. I walk out of there feeling pretty and 10 years younger.
Until I get home and take a look in the mirror at the thinning area on top of my scalp. No amount of hairdressing magic can fix what the dratted psoriasis has taken away.
Men has it easier in this area. Not that I don't sympathize with the young 20 something guys who start loosing their hair, cause I do, I really do. Still, it is a lot more acceptable for men to go bald, isn't it? They can cut it short-short and still be considered good-lookin', or shave it all off and look damned sexy.
Sadly, 'Good-lookin' and 'Sexy' aren't usually in the vocabulary used to describe us thin haired ladies. More often than not, people think we have terminal cancer. We get sympathetic stares from strangers and people we don't know that well come up to us, take our hands, look us in our eyes with the kind of fake understanding look some people like to wrap themselves in, you know the look I mean, right? They then ask us, gravely:
"How are you feeling these days, dear [insert name]? What are your prognoses?"
After you've explained that it isn't cancer but psoriasis they usually say:
and let go of your hand so quickly you'd think it had turned into a burning stick. Then comes the awkward silent moment. I know this is when I should probably go on explaining politely what psoriasis is and that it isn't contagious, but I don't. I make some lame excuse about being busy and walk on while fighting the urge to run to the nearest cave and hibernate for a lifetime or two.What I'd really like to do is scream in their face on top of my lungs:
"THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT HOW SHITTY I LOOK, IN A DAY'S TIME YOUR HAIR WILL START FALLING OUT TOO AND THE ONLY THING THAT WILL GROW HAIR ON YOU FROM NOW ON, ARE THE HUMONGOUS WARTS YOU'LL BE SPROUTING ON YOUR FACE! HAH!"
Of course, I'm not ever going to do this. I mean, I won't lie, it'll probably make me feel oh, so good there and then, but afterwards I'd feel oh, so bad. Besides, I'd have to face yet another label to my name; 'Furiously Insane' and I don't need that added stress.
Instead I might just tell them this hilarious joke I read today. It absolutely made my day and I'll share it with you.
As you probably know God, in his divine wisdom, has created infinite numbers of heads, but did you know he hide those heads he's ashamed of under a lot of hair?!?
Take that, you luscious thick haired beauties out there! *evil grin* (I know, I'm such a mean bitch and I really don't care)
I've told hubby that one of these days I'll muster up the guts and just shave off all my hair and go bald. He says he thinks I should. ....it's just that I suspect I have silly bumps in my head. When I tell him this, he just laughs, kisses me and tells me that he's certain I'd look dead sexy. I love his crazy ass so much and I wish I had a sexy bald head like Gail Ann Dorsey
Have a hairy day. Or not.
PS! Psoriasis doesn't really give you humongous warts. Just sayin'...