The dreaded MRI-scan appointment is over.
I have been angsting over this appointment for 3 months, on and off. Most of the time I've managed to push the thought of it to the back of my brain, but every now and then it has come up. My puls take off racing, I start hyperventilating and I'm fighting back a panic attack with everything I've got.
Horrifically stupid, I know it. It still happens.
Last time the earplugs didn't work and the insanely, loud, deafening noise scared the living daylight out of me. The only thing that stopped me from hitting the panic button, was the unbearable knowledge of having to go through it all over again, if I actually did hit it.
This time I asked for extra ear protection. It helped. I think I managed to breathe almost normal. The thought that hit me on the way out, was; why was this somthing to worry so much about?!?
I didn't get any results and I really don't care. It was only a checkup to monitor the progress of my issues. The results will be sent my regular doctor and she will call me if they have worsened a lot. They haven't. I live in my body 24/7, I should know.
I'm an aching wreck now, because I've been tense and slept poorly. That's stupidity working, nothing else. Sometimes I'd have liked to kick my butt real hard...
But, I'm done with it. It's over and I managed quite well.